my name's not Marian

I've had many emails over the years asking me to play online librarian, and back in the days when it was actually kind of challenging to find information online and I was much less crabby, I would often try to help, but this one took the cake:

Subject: study notes for down a dark hall way by lois duncan


Please send notes [email address omitted]
thank-you

I'm tempted to reply, "please send payment first."