Monday, June 11, 2007

It's not It's Not the Stork

A friend (also the creator of the infamous "Goodnight Moon Movie" shares his son's sex education guide:

"He's only three, so we got him The Guide To Getting it On, Toddler Version.

Chapter 1: Why baths are so much fun

Chapter 2: Reaching into your pants at a restaurant: Before or after rolls?

Chapter 3: Mommy has a Pagina: Things to tell strangers

Chapter 4: Things you do now that therapists will later comment on Worksheet

Chapter 5: "The Boy Pees in the Girls Mouth": Descriptions of sex your older brother says is absolutely true, but you later learn isn't, but even later learn that, for some people, it was true.

Chapter 6: Tortoises at the Zoo: Yes, that's about the way it goes.

Chapter 7: Walking in on the Parents: The best way to get a full pancake breakfast or a chance to watch morning cartoons, depending on how long you waited.

Chapter 8: Every noun in this book that you've never heard before is very funny when shouted. At houses of worship.

GLOSSERY: All the words from Chapter 8, mispronounced phonetically for extra parental negative attention."



Anonymous Anonymous bligged...

hee! Hee, hee, hee!

Epilogue for Slightly Older Children: "I come from a herring jar!" Broadcasting the details of one's own nontraditional conception, for fun and profit.

Hmm. Better make this one anonymous, for my child's sake...

6/12/2007 11:52 AM  

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