It's not It's Not the Stork
A friend (also the creator of the infamous "Goodnight Moon Movie" shares his son's sex education guide:
"He's only three, so we got him The Guide To Getting it On, Toddler Version.
Chapter 1: Why baths are so much fun
Chapter 2: Reaching into your pants at a restaurant: Before or after rolls?
Chapter 3: Mommy has a Pagina: Things to tell strangers
Chapter 4: Things you do now that therapists will later comment on Worksheet
Chapter 5: "The Boy Pees in the Girls Mouth": Descriptions of sex your older brother says is absolutely true, but you later learn isn't, but even later learn that, for some people, it was true.
Chapter 6: Tortoises at the Zoo: Yes, that's about the way it goes.
Chapter 7: Walking in on the Parents: The best way to get a full pancake breakfast or a chance to watch morning cartoons, depending on how long you waited.
Chapter 8: Every noun in this book that you've never heard before is very funny when shouted. At houses of worship.
GLOSSERY: All the words from Chapter 8, mispronounced phonetically for extra parental negative attention."
"He's only three, so we got him The Guide To Getting it On, Toddler Version.
Chapter 1: Why baths are so much fun
Chapter 2: Reaching into your pants at a restaurant: Before or after rolls?
Chapter 3: Mommy has a Pagina: Things to tell strangers
Chapter 4: Things you do now that therapists will later comment on Worksheet
Chapter 5: "The Boy Pees in the Girls Mouth": Descriptions of sex your older brother says is absolutely true, but you later learn isn't, but even later learn that, for some people, it was true.
Chapter 6: Tortoises at the Zoo: Yes, that's about the way it goes.
Chapter 7: Walking in on the Parents: The best way to get a full pancake breakfast or a chance to watch morning cartoons, depending on how long you waited.
Chapter 8: Every noun in this book that you've never heard before is very funny when shouted. At houses of worship.
GLOSSERY: All the words from Chapter 8, mispronounced phonetically for extra parental negative attention."
Labels: parenting
posted by web at 5:35 PM
1Bligs:
hee! Hee, hee, hee!
Epilogue for Slightly Older Children: "I come from a herring jar!" Broadcasting the details of one's own nontraditional conception, for fun and profit.
Hmm. Better make this one anonymous, for my child's sake...
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